Sunday, November 08, 2009
Thought & was looking forward to today cuz I would be gettin my laptop. My very own! However, that bastard lied to me again and gave me false hopes everytime. I even bathe, did make-up and got ready so that when he called, we could meet straight away. He only replied a few smses and then vanished again despite my numerous smses to him. Haizz. Why he always treat me liddat?
Owed me $800 and it has been draggin. Im broke too.. Everytime whenever he needs financial help, I would not hesitate or wait to transfer the money to him. Cuz I dun wish him to get into any trouble outside or go hungry. But everytime when I needed his help back badly, he only gave me more lies.
And now, after realizing he will never want to give up that CHINA bastard child of his, I have finally decided to give him up for good.
I dun wan to get involved with you anymore. Im really so sick & tired of everything already. Since you are not willing to pay the debt, kindly leave me alone & vanish from my world!
I rather be alone then to be led on by you again & be heart broken again & again in time to come... It has been five years already.
It's more than enough for me. Enough of suffering.
Goodbye. I hate you.
Labels: Recovering Phase, Wrath N' Fury
Written @
7:27 PM
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I know I have abandoned my blog cuz I really dun feel like blogging anymore. Inaccessibilty to internet as all know the PC is in my bro's room, tired due to work and my meeting up with frenz during my offdays. Each time I come online, I wun stay for long. Really nothing much to do too. Friendster, Facebook... I'm getting tired of them.
Off today and yet I woke up quite early and set off to Central to deposit my cheque. Called big Alicia after that as she's working at the Hub to see if she wanna meet up for lunch. That lady always complain that I'm living so near yet dun make the effort to meet her for lunch. Haha. OkOk.. today I meet you lorrr.
Went home straight and chatted with Sherry on the phone. We're supposed to meet April to celebrate Eveline's belated birthday. However as everything was planned the very last min, April couldn't join us in the end as she'll be meeting her bf. Left me and Sherry. But Eveline will be meeting her own friends in the evening thus it would be rather rush for us. We didn't meet up eventually.
Stayed home, online and washed my clothes. Dun think I will wanna go out later as my shift is morning tml.
Attended Yvonne's customary on last Sat at Inter-Continental Hotel. The bride was sooo beautiful and looked stunning that night. Seeing her soo blissful, I'm happy for her that she finally tied the knot with her 10 years long run bf. Qi and me stayed till the last dish before we made our way back. Everytime I attend a wedding, I will feel emo after that. Sadness maybe when lotsa thoughts flooded into my mind. Dun really like to attend weddings unless the gals are darlings to me.
Work has been sucky as our sales have been damn bad this month. What to do when everyone has decided to reduce their expenses. Can't point a gun and force them to buy what. Plus it's not only us, everywhere is having recession lor. However, the office dun see it this way of course! They only have figures in their eyes...
Sigh.
Soo difficult to meet up with Cass! Haven't go jalan with her for like... half a yr already?! Kaozzz... (-__-)""
Caught Angels & Demons on the 1st day of its showing. Read the book before, was trying to re-read it again to refresh my memory but halfway doing so, friend kept psycho me to watch. Was a lil' disappointed at first as the movie leaped a large part and lotsa scenes were different from the book. Even the major details like Leonardo Vetra who died turned out that Vittoria's partner was the 1st victim instead. Even dialogues spoken by the characters were switched. But still, overall it was a nice show. During the show, everyone became so sad when the Carmelango flew up the heli with the antimatter. I still continue to read the book tho after watching the show. Haha! I rate the movie 9.5/10
Planning a short holiday in July. Really need to getaway from SG badly. I
NEED a break from work... Hopefully I can save enough by then...
Woke up suddenly last night with a scream. My mum jostled from her slumber when she hear me shout. I was having cramps in my left leg. The nerves and veins inside felt as if they were gonna snap. She kept telling me to lay my leg straight but it was too painful. I kept telling her to go back to sleep and I'll be okay. While later, she came over and helped me stretched my leg straight and using her hand to soothe my tension.
I have always put up a brave front in front of my family. I dun wish to let them see my vulnerable side. I act tough most of the times, never letting them see me cry no matter how much pain I suffer outside. When mum did this act last night, when I felt her care for me, I felt so sad inside. Sighhhh. If only I am able to provide her a good life then she dun have to work soo hard at her age.
I'm sorry.
But I love you. Though I have never express it through any words or actions.
Labels: Recovering Phase, This N' That
Written @
4:18 PM
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Am feeling rather ill. Haizz. Sunday slacked at home and somehow I felt very unwell in the evening. Had no appetite to eat dinner too. My gastric was giving me problem as usual. It felt so bloated, as if there's alot of wind in it.
Next day supposed to work morning but too weak to go. Took mc and was in bed the whole day. The following morning I woke up to prepare for work, however my gastric suddenly hurt like crazy. No choice, I went back to bed with powder on my face and msg April that I'll be extending my mc. Went to see the doc again but didn't realise I needed to queue again. The nurse told me very fast one, in the end I waited for an hour. Feeling super pek cek and cursed and swear under my breath. A sick Serene is a DULAN Serene!!
Since I'm still on probation, my mc is unpaid and it's the 3rd MC I'm getting this month. Super broke lor. I was down with severe gastric problem, cough, flu and fever.
Yest I was still feeling sick but I forced myself to go to work. Cuz I will be having 2 offdays after that so I persevered. Coughed like crazy till my whole tummy area started to hurt. Eyes were so dry that my head began to ache like mad too. Kept using my hand to hit the back of my head, hoping to stop the pain. Hate falling sick, can't eat alot of good food. BOOO!
Initially planned to go to the airport to collect my $60 vouchers and head down to Bugis to trim my hair today. I'm still feeling weak though. And it's raining too. Changed my mind and perhaps I'll go down tml instead. Tml's the last day to collect my vouchers le, else they will be forfeited. Will see how again. If tml still unable to head down, then forget it. Long journey to and fro anyway. I need a haircut badly though.
Labels: Recovering Phase, This N' That
Written @
1:31 PM
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
S lept at 11+ last night and I woke up to a racing heartbeat at 1am. Had a nightmare. A really terrifying and frightening one.
A vicious female evil presence or rather, a ghost, wanted my life in my dream! It was due to my mistake (sighhhhh) two years ago and 'she' wanted to take revenge. I was running and hiding at my home. Even held my mum's hand tightly and wanted so much to tell her what I did two years ago. My regret. My greatest regret.
Then suddenly, I found myself running to my bro's room and saw Bro and his gf there. When XiaoLian turned to look at me, her face was the color of a deadly blue. She seemed so inhuman. I felt so lost and scared. I took a knife and dunno whether I should trust XiaoLian. Will she hurt me as well?
In the end, I stabbed the ghost instead, repeatedly....
The next moment, I woke up with a start and laid there motionless. I dun dare to move at all. My heart was in my mouth and I was still feeling frightened. The dream seemed so real. I started to hold my Buddha pendant tightly in my hand and prayed in my heart. Then I slowly reached out for my hp and realised it was 1am. Remorse engulfed me and I began to weep.
Dried my tears with my blanket and I looked around the room in the dark. Still feeling uneasy, I msg him and asked if the rituals were really done back then. He assured me and our conversation always ended sour. I wasn't taunting in anyway fyi. I just wanted to know the truth badly. The guilt will always be there, deep inside me, I guess.
Sigh.
Dun dare to close my eyes after that but I gotta wake up to prepare for work at 5 plus. Finally managed to fall into slumber again at 230am. However when I woke at 530am, I was feeling rather breathless the whole morning. Must be due to the restless night I had.
Sigh......
Labels: Recovering Phase
Written @
6:39 PM
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Woke up at 3am this morning with a sore throat. Whole day at work felt so unwell and lethargic. Went to Watson and got myself Strepsil lozenges but the pain did not cease. Reached home as dead as a fish, took some sore throat medicine that was prescribed by a doc some time back and went for a nap. When I woke up, the sore throat did not get better and I felt feverish. Haizz. Think it's the cold weather that's causing me to fall ill. It has been raining everyday, freezing cold. When I was travelling to work in the morning for the past few days, I was pratically trembling and shivering from the cold. Felt so weak now =(
I've decided to tender my resignation letter next week. Have informed Cass and asked her to help me prepare the letter cuz I dun have printer at home. And no, I've not gotten myself a job yet. Have to give one month notice in advance and I really couldn't take it anymore. The manager is abusing his authority and planned to transfer me out of my current team from next month onwards. I know he is trying to make life difficult for me. I will not let him manipulate me one lor. I rather resign and leave with dignity instead of letting him find more faults with me and have the opportunity to sack me. Come on, it's not as if I'm well paid or something.
One more day to go and I'll be off on Mon. Intend to go for a hair trim cuz my fringe is really too long and limpy. Look fugly now with sucky mood and poor health. Haizz. What's worse will there be to come???
Labels: Recovering Phase, Wrath N' Fury
Written @
9:40 PM
